It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ladies don't puke and tell
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
