I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
