Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
