YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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