I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
