Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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