hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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