plz talk dirty to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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