'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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