I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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