I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
