My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
