Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
