ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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