4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
