whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
