just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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