don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
