It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize