is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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