Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
