I am in a vortex of obligation.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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