she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You dont lie about slip and slides
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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