i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
