My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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