i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
her vagine was all disorganized.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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