I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
