hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dignity is for republicans.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
