that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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