There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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