we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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