So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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