Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
