I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
