We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
