i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
