I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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