It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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