So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
