i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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