so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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