First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize