Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
did i just pee glitter
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