Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
