forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
