He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
