i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
