I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
