I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
