you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
