In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
