just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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