i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
