Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
