I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
