So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cockslap morals
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
