I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
