I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
are you so shy because you have an std?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
