it wasn't lemon gatorade
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
