yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
