I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize