You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
