He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
