dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
