That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
